Thursday, November 11, 2010

Good Job, Canada! Wait... What?

As you are all probably aware, the new Sun Chips bags are loud. Real loud. Although that does not detract from their deliciousness, some people find it irritating. Personally, I find the obnoxiously loud bag more humorous than annoying. There's no better way to drown out your sibling, parent or significant other AND satisfy your craving for a delectable, natural product that is cooked with steam from solar energy than to dig into a freshly opened bag of Sun Chips.
To the people who are aggravated by the "noise pollution" I say this: deal with it. The bag has many more environmental benefits than personal pet-peeves. Imagine this: you woke up at the break of dawn, went out on your boat and motored across the glassy water to your favorite fishing spot. You cast your line and after a long wait you begin to reel it in. You feel a tug and your heart starts racing, "first bite of the day!" you think to yourself. You keep reeling in your line but once the hook breaks the surface of the water you have nothing on it but a "quiet" bag of Sun Chips. I would classify this as a day ruiner. There's nothing I hate more than getting my hopes up only to be let down. However, if you had only thought beyond the few seconds of discomfort the bag gives you, it wouldn't happen. After 14 days (two weeks) in a compost pile the loud bags become dirt and will most likely get defecated upon by some furry woodland creature. How's that for justice?
Also, the bags are family size. You shouldn't be eating out of it anyways. It's how germs are spread. Pour the deliciousness into a bowl. If the chips themselves are too crunchy and loud for you then you should be forced to eat nothing but mashed potatoes and oatmeal for the rest of your life. 
The reason for my rant is the fact that due to so many complaints and a drop in sales, Frito-Lay has pulled their environmentally friendly, albeit loud, packaging from the market. Every flavor of Sun Chips (except Original) will be sold in the silent, environmentally detrimental packaging as of October of this year. Thanks to people like this guy the United States has taken yet another step in the wrong direction in protecting the Earth.
To all my fellow Earth lovers there is hope in the most unlikely of places. The Canadian branch of Frito-Lay has vowed to keep the bags on the market despite the reaction they received from Americans. They even pledged to send you a free pair of ear plugs if you are not satisfied with the decibel level that the bag emits. Our jolly northern neighbors most likely saw this public service announcement (if you're actually in Canada, view it in French) as they watched "The Next One" get beat by my Bruins. I would like to take this opportunity to salute our North American brethren. Despite the fact that you do little else besides drink Molson, play hockey, curl and fight, I commend you for your bravery in the face of adversity. Keep up the good fight my fellow syrup lovers.

This piece of news was brought to my attention by fellow environmental policy-er, Colin Frost.

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